When I started holidays, I was
keen to get away from the nursing world for a while and think about whether it
was something I wanted to continue doing. As time went on, I made peace of
sorts with some of the issues surrounding my wanting to leave the profession.
But now, I am almost dreading going back.
I feel it’s more than just the
notion of going back to ‘work’ in general. What can I do about it? Seriously, for
the last week I’ve been contemplating increasingly outlandish ideas; about
shaking my life up in major ways. I know there are more than my feelings about
work that are causing this instability.
For someone who is supposed to be so
sensible, my brain has been left to atrophy while I jumped into something personal
that was unique and brilliant, but ultimately doomed. So now I get to feel miserable
about that, while I try to cope with what feels like a mid-life crisis at 36. If
there is any connection, however tenuous, between my head and my heart, it
needs to be severed now before my feelings mess me up any more.
