I see a lot of rubbish things come into emergency. I realise that everyone has their own definition of 'serious' and what needs medical attention, but things like papercuts should not be on anyone's list.
I wasn't thinking anything except a slight annoyance when a gentleman came up to the triage window stating he had a cut or scratch on the back of his leg. Of course, you can't see jack below the patient's waist from the triage window, so I asked him to come through so I could have a proper look.
The plastic bag tied around his lower leg with a shoelace should have twigged something more with me, especially when on questioning he said he hadn't wanted to get the blood in his car. Okayeee..
So then I started unwrapping the layers.
Plastic bag x 2.
Teatowel tied with another shoelace. Kind of bloody.
Another teatowel, another shoelace. Even more bloody.
Face washer. Secured with a PET COLLAR.
By now I was more than a bit incredulous and wtf-like.
Me: What is this?
Him: It's a cat collar. It's new, it's not been used so it's okay.
Me: Uhh... why?
Him: Well I couldn't find anything else.
By now, everything is blood soaked. Big time. Blood's not a problem, I can deal with that. But if this is just a scratch, I'm Florence Nightingale.
The last layer was a paper towel held on with a big wad of sticky tape.
I'm thinking, I can't *wait* to see this 'scratch'.
The towelling comes off. Instantly, the artery on the back of his leg that has somehow been nicked starts spurting blood in time with his heart beat. A lovely, juicy arterial bleed.
I swore. Quite loudly.
How he hadn't noticed the pulsating vessel I have no idea. But thank god he did come to hospital with his 'scratch'. I'll still roll my eyes at people with papercuts, but the next scratch I won't believe until I see it.
![]() |
| Scratch |
![]() |
| Not a scratch |

