People are s**t - an update

Sooo...
Had been in random contact with LAEB (loser-arsed ex boyfriend) who had wanted to be 'friends with benefits'. Hmm I said, not sure that would work for me, since I have actual feelings (unlike you clearly).
Eventually, after much much much discussion and him pestering me with text messages, he finally says he's not ready for a relationship (don't know what he considered the year or so we were together then) and he didn't think we should be FWB because 'you couldn't handle your emotions'. Great, should I feel sorry or apologetic for that? Don't think so. I confronted him about his online dating huge-lie-of-a-profile then, and he admitted he was only using it to get casual hookups.
How should I feel about this? On the one hand, I am glad that he finally had the balls to admit it to me, even though he went on to say that manipulating people is what he does and he feels 'too insecure' to commit to anybody. Flip side - I feel totally cheated and that I have wasted the past year of my life on a guy who was only after one thing. How can someone be such a blatant liar? He said he loved me. He asked me to go away with him, was OTT affectionate...
I just don't get it. Maybe I never will. It's LAEB birthday in 3 days. Do I even bother sending a 'happy birthday' text or  forget it?

Passion-less

Okay, so I am feeling slightly down at the moment but not depressed. I have come to realise that I have no passions in my life. Sure, I am always busy with work, my pets, my family and friends, but there is nothing that I get completely engrossed in and lose myself with, nothing that I am so passionate about that it could define me as 'who I am' rather than just 'nurse', 'sister', 'daughter' etc. An Oprah magazine caught my eye at the library on the weekend; one of the stories was about finding your true calling in life. And it got me thinking, what really is my calling? And why have I lost those little things that used to make me so happy as a kid - writing papers and books, poems, short stories, making up plays and collages... and can I get them back?