Bye bye Qld, hello ... ?

Big decisions. Hard decisions.
Some massive changes are going on in my life right now, and my head and my heart are tussling.
I suspect that by the end of the year, I will be living and working in another state. I can't lock the idea into my head just yet.
One thing I do know - love is having your coloured hair shampoo bought specially for you when you come to visit.

Split up with your husband. Because I said so.

Someone very dear to me has been having marital problems for the best part of a year. I have always been a willing listener, whether it’s with friends/family/work. In this instance, I’ve been a sounding board, a sympathiser, basically I’ll-give-you-advice-if-you-want-it-but-mainly-listen.

She and her partner have decided to spend some time apart. I’ve been told that he was “adamant” that she not stay with me during this time, and that he didn’t want her spending any time with me.

I am her sister.

I was flabbergasted when she told me this. Wtf? Apparently, he feels that I have somehow betrayed him. I should have told her that her [insert thoughts/behaviour] were wrong. I am a bad influence and have somehow given her the impression that single life is all rosy and fun.

I am so disappointed that my BIL would think so badly? so little? of me to try and influence someone in this way, anyone, let alone my sister. She is far more stubborn than me and I doubt that my opinion (had I offered it) would have had much sway anyway.

I don’t know how I can look him the eye now after knowing this. Whether they decide to stay together or separate, I will always be involved because of their children. He may be embarrassed about me knowing what’s happened, but I’m more upset that he considers me a negative influence in her life.

Advice? Ask me how!

 

Online dating - the last hurrah?

I decided to close my online dating profile on [site x] this month. It’s been a long and arduous slog, and I am battle weary. Just kidding. It has been interesting, and I’ve had more success with this site than with [site y]. Just for the heck of it, I decided to turn my matches back on for my final days, as a last hurrah if you like. Ah, things never change. The same appalling spelling and grammar, the occasional very odd match. A couple that took my eye for various reasons in the last few days...

• Articulate 30 something year old, nice smile. “Things you should know?” -  living with his 3 kids and ex-wife in the family home. Oh dear.
• One guy, 6 out of 6 of his profile pictures – wearing a full face motorcycle helmet.
• 35yo lists his occupation as “living”, and that he’s thankful for “existing and having a brain”. Oh, I beg to differ.

 

ADDIT: Guy #1 has sent me a message. I'm fascinated yet turned off. Will I reply? Stay tuned.

 

ADDIT 2: I replied, but it was a "thanks, but no thanks". I'm rather content with my dating/love life right now, plus wayyyy too much odd. He's probably quite a nice person, but that's got to be a tough thing to sell to someone. Good luck dude!



Twentee Thirteen

First blog post for the year!
Last night I sat at triage on night shift. It was extraordinarily dead, compared to the past few days of the holiday season. I:
- pondered the mysteries of the universe (didn't come up with any answers);
- perved on the parade of police officers (mmm, just a little bit); and
- thought about what I wanted to write this year.
I didn't reach any conclusion, except that I need to practice, practice, practice.

Forgive my 3am brain for this one...

Fluorescent lights glow
Caressing the ghostly skin
Of the night shift nurse.

You get a lot more customers if you wear this instead of your uniform as the triage nurse on night shift. Umm, so I've heard.

Goodbye 2012. You kinda sucked.

2012 - what an arse of a year.

Downs > ups, stress, illness, family problems, men problems… sigh.

I seriously cannot wait for midnight December 31 to roll around. Next year will bring some big decisions for me. I am usually loathe to change my ways, but I know I need this to move on, move up. I’m kind of looking forward to it J

Happy New Year everyone. May 2013 bring you much happiness and fulfilment.

A tragedy on my holiday. Well, it was for me.

Who's been a slack blogger then, hey? Oops.

I managed to wrestle some time off out of my boss, and I've spent the last week at glorious Mooloolaba, one of my favourite places. It's been good to take some time out alone and just think, walk, swim and read. I feel soothed mentally which is what I really needed.

On Thursday afternoon I had the most wonderful massage. I almost floated back to my room, and I'd not been back long when I heard an almighty thud that seemed to reverberate through the unit. I stuck my head out on the 8th floor balcony... then I froze.

A beautiful rainbow lorikeet was lying on the ground, blood pooling from its beak, twitching ever so slightly. I could tell from the angle it was lying that it had broken its neck, presumably from flying into my glass balcony doors. It was feebly opening and closing its mouth, trying to sqwark, trying to cry for help from its flying mates, I don't know. I sat with it, stroking it, attempting to console it while its eyes glazed over. It died fairly quickly, but it was too long, painfully long.

I started bawling and couldn't stop. This poor little bird, just doing what it did every day, killed by something as stupid as a door. I cradled it for a while. Then I wondered what to do with its body. There was no way I could put it in a rubbish bag. I couldn't bear to think of a living thing being thrown away like that. When it was dark, I took it with me down towards the beach and buried it in one of the gardens nearby.

Maybe it was silly of me. It was just a bird, not a pet, just some random animal that happened to die near me. I don't know that anyone else would have done the same. But at least I felt better in myself that I'd given this creature a proper goodbye.

The heartbreaking thing? Today, there was another rainbow lorikeet sitting on the railing above where my bird died. I think it was its mate. It didn't fly away when I approached it. Just sat and looked at me, and at the bloodstain on the ground I hadn't washed off yet. Even now, I feel such sadness for these lovely birds. Maybe I'm just a big sook.

Farewell, my little friend x

Life is like... a game of Tetris?

Long time, no blog post.
Today I am off to one of my favourite places, Melbourne.
My life is feeling a little bit like a game of Tetris at the moment. All the pieces, each a chunk of something, some aspect of my life. Everything up in the air, me trying to juggle and defy gravity just a little bit longer, willing everything to slot into place.
I know life isn't meant to be perfect. I'm hoping the time away from Brisbane will give me some perspective, and to sound cliched, renewal.
Until then, ciao baby.